What if?

I live in fear of "what if?" more often than not I do things because I don't want to regret. I live in fear of being 90 years old, sitting in a chair with a blanket and a cup of coffee, wondering what if?. It is one of the reasons I keep my TV on CNN. I don't want to miss anything. For the same reason I tend to also do things I think will hurt me. Because then I know if they will hurt me or not. I won't wonder. But I still do wonder. And I drive myself crazy thinking about it. what if.......