i've got alot of things in my mind today, just don't know where or how to start. well for starters i'm more sick (physically, i don't think i'm capable of becoming more sick mentally, but i shouldn't speak so soon, i could always blow a gasket and completly lose my mind) than i have been in quite some time, i even missed a day of work. which is quite a bummer. thursdays are genarlly good happy hours and i make a few more dollars than normal. and well august and september just plain sucked and i need the money. oh well i guess i'll get by like i always do.
i've been giving more and more thoughts to going back to work, but damn i sure do enjoy my life right now. the only problem is that me and queenie are on oppisite schedules and hardly get to see each other, and when we do one or the other is often sleeping. we never talk anymore and when we do it's usually me in a drunken stupor attmping to sort my thoughts out thru a haze of whisky and jager. i know it's wrong to initiate such converations drunk, but i'm still very self-conscience and still have a hard time revealing my true emotions. i guess the only redeeming valaue is i know that i want to discuss things, i want to have an open honest relationship, and i don't want to have to hide anything. oh well.