Friday, April 30, 2004

yeah i thought i could go a week with out drinking. who the hell was i kidding. i went 2 days. on weds. i went out, and had a bourben and coke. big mistake. i thought i could handle it. and actually i could. i didn't even finish my drink at dinner. but then i went out for drinks, i had two. during the middle of my second i ordered a glsass of water. but afterwards i went home, got my roommate, went out for a few more, then we went home and drank till 5am. i realized i love the way bourbon washes over my mouth, and over my body. it's sweet and bitter just like a woman. i decided that i cannot not drink right now. i love it way too much. i love the bitter sweet flavor, the wetness in my mouth and the warmth on my throat. the shiver down my back and the buzzz in my head. goodnight.

Monday, April 26, 2004

what a weekend. live music, Hot Rods, bikes, and a ton of rain. i'm hurting like hell today. i've got bruises all over my body, a black eye, and huge gash across my nose. i was told that i fell down more than i was standing. fun stuff. this may be the incentive i need to stop drinking. i don't know if can do it or not. i know i can go a shift at the T, with out drinking, i can work with out drinking. i but i don't know if i can go out without drinking.

oh well. i didn't go to jail.