well. i went out last night and got stupid drunk. i have been doing this more and more often. i think i need to scale it back some. i think i am hurting others and i have more to think of than myself. i am embarressed of my actions last night. i did nothing terrible wrong mind you. i just didn't do anything right either. i chose to saty out, and in doing so i put myself in a postion to not be able to drive. thankfully i had some people around that did not let me drive.