Sex , lies and horny drunks



So a customer at the bar made an interesting observation in his drunken stupor after the conversation at the bar turned to sex and masturbation. Another drunk was making the argument that it's ok and that both men and women do it to "take care of business " the observation was that if all the horny men and women are going home alone and masturbating because they are horny, wouldn't the world be a better place if everybody got together and made the masturbation issue a non-issue. It got me to thinking, yup there are a lot of horny folks going home alone at the end of the night. But I guess not all of the right people are not in all of the right places at the same time. Of course this brings up the topic of causal sex and that I believe is a topic for another day. Of course as I have mentioned before there are a lot of ugly or not so attractive folks out there and for some ingrained reason most horny folks have a higher standard for the folks they want to have sex with than they have for themselves. I know most people do there best to look their best when they go out on the town, or maybe not. Maybe the horny folks have resigned themselves to be lonely and don't make an effort to get all dressed up when they go out for a beer or a show. What scares me the most are the guy and gals who obviously look like the put some time and effort into their appearance and still manage to miss the mark arbitrarily set by society. I remember one time at the bar, kicking back and having a beer or three, a young woman walked thru the door. This girl was the poster girl for a white trash whore. She was wearing a skirt that was too short, tattered and worn, not to mention about 10 years out of style. (do short skirts really go out of style?) ugly cheap shoes that should have been sent to the trash bin years ago, black torn fishnets and a shirt that was way too tight. Bright red lipstick and cake hair from the late 80's. Her whole outfit screamed I'm looking to have sex with the band, the whole band and nothing but the band. But when I noticed what she was carrying I almost fell out of my chair giggling. A bag of Doritoes. I turned and looked at one of my friends and in the straightest face I could muster, I said, "she's all that and a bag of chips." we laughed about that thru most of the night. And the young girl oblivious to our amusement stood dutifully at the edge of the stage and stared mournfully at each band that played. And I digress.
So horny people? Put on your best clothes, wash your hair, brush your teeth, ask a friend how you look, then go out at give it a go at not going home alone or at least getting a number for later. Now I'm not saying that everybody in the club is single and horny, but you never know, that pretty young thing that you've been looking at all night, might be just like you. Looking for love in all the wrong places.